• Drake Silver

Justin Bieber Remembers How His First Year of Marriage Was "Really Tough" Due to a "Lack of Trust"

In his new May 2021 GQ cover story, Justin Bieber reveals what made his first year of marriage to Hailey Bieber "really tough."

Justin & Hailey Bieber

The couple married secretly in a New York courthouse in 2018 and said "I do" a year later in South Carolina. He told GQ that getting married and having children "was my calling," though the famous couple would postpone the latter for the time being.

According to one of his closest friends, Ryan Good, the pop star's team sees his wife as a "powerful, steady, stabilizing force in his life" that he had been lacking all along. Despite this peace, the 27-year-old singer felt as if he was walking on "eggshells" during his first year as a husband.

"The first year of marriage was really rough because there was so much," he said, referring to the trauma. "There was simply a lack of confidence. There are so many things you don't want to reveal to the person you're with because it's frightening. 'I'm afraid,' you don't want to scare them away.'"

Similarly, in her April 2021 Elle cover story, the 24-year-old high-profile model commented on their "very complicated" first year as a married couple. She cited social media threats as a contributing factor, and as a result, she has turned off public comments on her Instagram indefinitely.

"I just wanted to hide at the start of our marriage. 'I don't want people in my company,' I said. All seems to be on my tail.' 'Can there be no anonymity?' I wondered. Is it possible for me to get some of it back?' "She remembered something. "One once told me that [turning off public comments] significantly reduces your commitment. ‘I don't give an f—- about marriage!' I exclaimed. I'm being terrorized by strangers. Engagement and enschagement are two words that come to mind when thinking about engagement and enschage 'I don't give a damn!'"

However, in his most recent interview, Bieber explained how finally believing in having someone love him helped him to have the home life he never had. He was always on the move as a Canadian teen global phenomenon, hiding his passport so he wouldn't be able to fly and play, and he was hiding his passport until the pandemic forced him to take a break.

"We're really making these memories for ourselves as a couple — as a family. And it's wonderful that we have that to anticipate "Bieber went on. "I didn't have much to look forward to in my life before. My personal life was in shambles. My home life, for example, was non-existent. I didn't have a significant other when I was younger. I couldn't love someone because I didn't have anyone to love. I couldn't pour into someone because I didn't have anyone to pour into. But I now have it."